I do nothing. I do nothing at this $8000 school. I do nothing but study. It was almost 65 degrees today and do you know what I did? I was in the library from 1:30 to 5 and now I'm in class. I study. Daily. For hours. And it wasn't like this freshman year. Yeah, I studied. But NOT ENOUGH. My social life is completely gone compared to last semester. I actually went out and had fun. Now I sit around and study.. and DD for my friends. Woo.
Yeah i can complain all I want but there's a reason I do this. I am trying to get good grades. I am trying to make-up for not trying hard enough before. And I am trying to stay at the place that I love. I am stressing myself out so much about leaving WSU that I had a panic attack the other night. But I am trying. I can't imagine having my life change to the point of where I'm not at Winona anymore. I can't imagine a world without my friends, becasue that's what my life would be. I'd have my hennepin tech work and my family. The end. Nothing else. I can't do that; I can't be that person that didn't do well enough at a State University that she had to leave. I am so scared that's who I am going to be, though. I'm trying to find other options. I'm applying to scholarships like crazy, I'm trying to find grants and other ways to get money but.. nothing. AS if I wasn't stressing over my program enough, now this.
But, this is life. Sh*t happens. I am always going to be stressed and there's nothing I can do but get used to it. And all I keep thinking about is something Grace, a fellow SIP staff member, said to me this summer,.
"If God can get you to it, He can get you through it.:"
End of story. I have nothing else to rely on but my ability to do well even with all the stress, and God. So here it is. I just want to stay where I know I will be better.
